Monday, December 29, 2008

Merry Christmas mai Fiji!




Hello again friends!
It’s been awhile since I’ve written you anything substantial…sorry about that! The past month has been a flurry of rearranging and moving around. I’m now on the second half of my vacation…my mom finally arrived! I can’t explain how wonderful it is to have someone who knows me so well be here face to face. It’s been over seven months now since I left the land of familiarity for where I am today…and while I’ve made great friends here, some of whom I am counting on having in my life after these two years are over…it’s a breath of fresh air to have someone from home here in this new home of mine.
The last couple of weeks have made me realize how easy it is to get comfortable someplace…and to lose the sense of awe and wonder we have when we’re experiencing something for the very first time. I had forgotten to really breathe in the beauty of the place that I currently live for a while there. It was really refreshing to visit friends on Vanua Levu—the big north island. I spent a few nights with friends at Hannah’s site. She lives in the interior of Vanua Levu…and has an absolutely amazing view of the coast from her house on a hill. We tried to capture it in photos…but these only give you a 1/100th of feeling you get when you’re up on that hill a short walk through “the bush” to the ocean.




The first night there was spent around the tanoa bowl (kava bowl) in a local village. We talanoed (told stories) with some of the young ladies and guys there…and Christa finally got a Fijian name…Teresa…we have yet to figure out where that sprung from. The next day was spent exploring the ocean after a walk through the forest.

After Hannah’s village we were on our way to Savusavu. This is one of the two towns in Vanua Levu. We spent a ton of time snorkeling in a coral reef right off of the coast. Friends, I am now in love with the ocean…I may never be able to live far from it again. It’s a whole new world down there…I don’t know what Ariel was complaining about because it would be awesome to live in a castle under the sea. One of my new favorite animals is the cuddle fish…they look like squid and change colors and travel in big schools...they’re just fantastic. Amongst the other sea creatures I was awed by were huge multi-colored clams, a bright pink sea cucumber, and of course all of the brightly colored coral. As if I don’t have it good enough living on a tropical island with amazing views of the land pretty much daily, I have now discovered a view even more awesome. Christa has some photos on an underwater camera…I’ll try to kereakere (borrow…forever…) some of them for your enjoyment once she gets them put onto a disk.

This Christmas was definitely different than the snow covered ones I’m used to back home…but it was refreshing. Of course, I missed my friends and family…and the traditions I’ve taken part in for as long as I can remember like baking Christmas cookies, ice skating in Chicago, walking down Michigan Avenue when the little white lights line the streets, and singing Silent Night on Christmas Eve at church, but this Christmas was free of the materialism and chaos of malls and shopping and consumers running around like chickens with their head cut off trying to get whatever new gadget is out on the market that their kid just can’t possibly live without. Instead, I had a simple Christmas with good friends and awe-inspiring exploration. Christa, Leslie, Hannah and I went to mass at a beautiful stone catholic church right on the coast. It was the first Fijian service I’ve gone to where the pastor’s tone was joyful instead of threatening…and their singing of familiar songs in an unfamiliar language was beautiful. After church we headed to Becky & Dana’s (volunteers that live in town) who graciously shared lovo (traditional Fijian food cooked in an underground oven) given to them by their neighbors. We listened to an audio version of the Grinch and then we headed to the beach where we partook in said snorkeling. We ended the night with a good meal and hit the sack early exhausted from the sun. Yes, this Christmas will be one to remember, not because of anything I got from a store, but because of the memories created with good friends and the renewed sense of awe in the simple complexities created under the sea.

Merry Christmas everyone…and may your New Year be a celebration of whatever adventure life took you on in 2008…and a renewed sense of awe and wonder for 2009.


And now…a tribute to the two ladies that we missed a ton because they were in the snow with ya’ll at home…Alisi and Kendalicious…I hope both of you had fantastic Christmas’s with family…but know that you are especially missed & I wish you were here snorkeling with us!







isa.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

2 months of vaca.

I've been away from Navua for a little over three weeks now...and finally the peace corps has decided there are no houses that meet the correct safety criteria there, so I will be removed from site and reassigned. Now this is great because I wasn't doing work there that really fit with any of my passions or aligned with my skills. However, they also told me it may be a while before they find a new spot for me so I should hang tight over the holidays and wait for programming staff to aid in developing a new site for me. After my official vacation ends in January, I'll most likely still be without a home or community, so perhaps I'll visit other volunteers at their sites & complete some work exchange.

Tomorrow I will go to one of my favorite lewa's (Amy's) village to take part in some composting and sweet mangrove planting....and then pretty much I get to hang out with her in her village for about a week.

After the village expedition I'm off to the north island for some fun in the sun. I'll be travelling with Christa & Leslie to a small island off of Labasa...and then down to celebrate Christmas in Savusavu. New Years will be celebrated with my mom :) on the coral coast near Sigatoka.

For now I'm just enjoying what will be about 2 months of down time, and exploring the hidden crevices of this beautiful island. Pictures are sure to follow the next few weeks, so stay posted!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

displaced.

After an unfortunately eventful weekend in Navua, I am currently displaced. Some local guys tried to break in to my house and so Peace Corps has decided it's an unsafe house for a volunteer, and have sent me to stay with Christa until they find me another.
I am incredibly frustrated, and disheartened right now...but hopefully everything will work out.

Also,
I'm not big on this blogging trend...I'd much rather snail mail you all...but seeing as this is free & empowers you--the reader to decide whether you want to read about my life in the Feej...I've transitioned from mass e-mails to posting on here...

Wedding Season Begins.

The sister of the bride blessing the groom.


Sarees and Jewelry

My neighbor...5 going on 30.

Nacho! (translation: Dance!)

I am a Peace Corps Volunteer.

The sounds of loud Indian men singing along with great fervor (though a bit off tune probably due to a long yaqona session) to an Indian favorite vibrates through the walls of my mint green home, and the smell of fish still lingers from my dinner with La and Waqa. It’s taken me about a month to take everything in before I could find time to stop looking around and write about it. It’s surreal to think that this place has finally become home to me. I belong here. As I lay in bed a film reel of all the scenes I have been a part of in the last three months rolls through my head. Getting off the plane I was ecstatic…and yet not fully aware of what I just walked into. I boarded a plane in the LAX airport amidst the hustle and bustle of urban American life and stepped off the plane with an immediate stickiness to my skin into the quiet nighttime Fijian air. Weighed down by luggage I wasn’t quite sure I needed and thoughts that refused to let me get a good night of sleep for several weeks prior to arrival, I plopped into bed relieved to finally begin my adventure as a peace corps volunteer. Fast forward to meeting my host family. Despite the week of training to “prepare” us for life with our new families, the moment I entered that house a lump formed in my throat and the ability to speak in my usually boisterous voice was suddenly gone. As I fumbled around for words to say…trying to remember the few phrases Mahen jii taught us to brighten the mood I think something along the lines of “namas…raam…kaa…hi, I’m Sarah” came out. I would soon be branded with a new identity “Swastika” and expected to roll out perfectly round roti, spend my day in doors like a good Indian woman, and sit Indian style (which has now taken on a whole new meaning) for hours worth of pooja. Homestay is the most challenging and rewarding experience a person can go through. While mine was less than desirable, living in such close quarters with a family who is speaking a completely foreign language, cooking foods with spices you had no idea even existed, and existing in a family with much different roles and expectations than what one is used to at home really helps one to see more clearly the many similarities between the two cultures. The differences become much less important and the ability to share an overlap in culture—the love of dance, the telling of stories & jokes, mourning the loss of a loved one and celebrating the joining of two in love—the recognizition of our common humanity is what makes homestay so wonderful. The reel moves quickly like an old black and white film paired with instrumental music….with scenes of Esta gleefully sticking playdoh to my forehead, Anna washing my muddy feet after an intense Frisbee game, Kakii laughing with me over the grog bowl, and Auntie Mela calling me over for tea. Of course training also entailed a lot of interaction with our local trainers, all of whom I would soon grow to view as peers and some adopted members of my new Fijian family. There were late night talanoa sessions, and dance parties. My group of 32 American Peace Corps volunteers would ask our naïve, laughable questions and the locals would smile politely remembering what they were told about the nature of a new peace corps volunteer, and gracefully answer, hoping that one day soon their hard work would pay off. Without the patience of Kini, La, Dee, JT, karoka, and Mahen helping us through every faux pau and misinterpretation of a Fijian attitude or behavior…or Mesu & Isoa who humbly taught a bunch of self righteous, know it all college graduates from the U.S. about work in Fiji…or Tukai who appeared miraculously anytime we stepped out into the pouring rain afraid we’d have to walk the distance to training…or Asaeli & Joe who put up with every comment, question, concern, or request we had…one of the 32 of us would have been back on a plane to America, but instead here we are…one month into our volunteer service. Each one of us has a different story, and each one of us will experience Fiji in a slightly different way…but each one of us can proudly say that on July 24th we swore in as a Peace Corps volunteer.
-August, 2008

e-mails...for those who mistakenly weren't on the list.

November 9, 2008
I'd first like to address the fact that Barack Obama is officially our president elect...and one day if I have children I can say " I was at a bar on a beach in Fiji with fellow Peace Corps volunteers watching the excitement in Grant Park on a tv the day Barack Obama made history." I wish I could have been amidst al the excitement at home, but celebrating as a peace corps volunteer in Fiji was pretty good too.
Some of you may have noticed that this update is a little late...sorry about that, it's been a busy one. I started off the month with a week of training that happens once a year with all of the volunteers. It was great to see everyone, to share ideas on how to get projects off the ground, and to be reminded that there 31 other people who are going through similar situations and challenges.
After training, we had a few days off, so I was running what many would consider a youth hostil from my flat in Navua. Mattresses covered the floors for a few days and a bunch of us spent numerous hours on the beach snorkeling, catching some rays, and kayaking. Fiji really is a beautiful country--I can't wait until I get to travel a bit more north to do some diving in the reefs.
The World Women's Craft fair was a lot of fun. I started off the week on a 4 hours bus ride with just women...and just like anywhere in the world, when you subtract men from the equation the result is one large singing and dance fest. During the two days of festivities it was great to see the women get excited explaining how they had made their crafts to all the tourists. The women from Navua brought quilts and mats they had made. One of the ladies also makes chutneys and snacks that she sold out of the first day because they're so delicious. Some of the other volunteers were there with their local women's groups selling bags, mat, chutneys, and honey. I bought some honey bottled in an old jam jar & I have to say, it is way better than that stuff we buy in America that comes in a plastic squeezable bear.
One exciting thing to happen in the world of health here was the arrival of a donation of HPV vaccines. There is a limited amount, so the health department decided to vaccinate all girls between the ages of 9 and 13. I took a two day trip with some of the nurses into the interior to hit all the schools inside the mountain last week. It was my first time to see all of the villages in my disctrict, most of which are hidden inside of very green mountainous areas, with few resources within any reasonable distance for walking--especially in the sweltering summer heat. The cultural taboo against talking about sexual and reproductive health was definitely a challenge though. Several of the villages completely rejected the vaccine, and several took some convincing because they were unaware of anything related to cervical health. Less than 10% of women here ever have a pap smear, and cervical cancer is the leading cause of cancer among women in the country. Most of the time, women don't know they have it until it is so far progressed that there is no way to cure it. We're hoping that by introducing this vaccine, and getting women talking about the virus, more will recognize the importance of taking care of their health.
November is the launch of women's fitness classes which I will be teaching until a few more women in the community feel confident enough to lead them. The dietician and I also made news with our Saturday day camp that is running for three weekends this month & ends next week. Using information collected during the school health team's routine checkups, it was found that about 1 in 4 kids here are overweight or obese. We invited those shown as obese to the day camp where the kids participate in sports, swimming, and nutrition classes. We're hoping that at the completion of the camp, the kids will be aware of more games they can play that don't necessarily require them to join the limited number of sports teams around, and be able to use locally grown foods to create healthy menus for themselves and their families.
The holidays are approaching, and I know I'll be missing home a lot more than usual because of it....fortuately I've created a small family away from home amongst the other volunteers as well as the people in my town. While I'm cooking up some homemade raviolis for the other volunteers, know that I am thinking of you all at home and hope yours is blessed with family, good food, and a good snow.

September 19, 2008

“Woman found sleeping under a bush.” That was the news-breaking story on Fiji One News this week. The news anchor went on to tell the horrific details of the story, “a woman in her 60’s who is thought to suffer from a mental illness was found sleeping under a bush. Authorities are unsure of her identity of origin. Police are requesting any information on her identity from friends or family.”
Such is the culture of community. I’m in a country that has limited access to resources—and yet no one goes hungry and no one is homeless. Everyone has a village to go home to, or a family to care for them when they can’t care for themselves. A person can’t go hungry because if I have something to eat—even if it’s just one apple—and you don’t, we share it. Coming from a land of plenty with still plenty of unnamed, unnoticed, uncared for community members sleeping under bushes and next to garbage cans and under overpasses; this headline worthy news reminds me how far I am from the U.S. of A. One of the men in a nearby village asked me recently, “is it true that there are people in your country that live on the street and are hungry? I saw it on a movie, but I wasn’t sure if it was true.” So I replied yes, as a movie reel of faces & names & stories of all the homeless men, women, and youth I have so loved working with in America scrolled through my memory. He looked at me with perplexed eyes and then with a wary smile said, “I think your country needs you more than we do.”

I’ve been living in my flat in Navua for almost two months now. Sometimes the days go by really slowly, and yet time seems to just fly by. I can’t believe I’ve already been gone for a third of a year. I’m just starting to do some community project planning with a squatter settlement that borders town. After having informal chats, teas, and late night kava drinking sessions, we had a community meeting last week. At the beginning of the meeting as the taraqanikoro (“mayor” of the village) formally welcomed me into the community, he told me to call him “Ta” which means dad…suddenly, there was a quite eruption of unrest circling the room and all the men started talking to each other in Fijian way past my level of understanding. After a few minutes of this, the taraqanikoro turned to me and said…you will call all of us ta because we all regard you as our daughter. Family ties here are really important—there’s a different Fijian word for all sorts of relatives depending on what side of the family they fall. So to decide my village family of origin was an important task for them…apparently they couldn’t decide how to make things fair , so I now have about 28 Fijian "Ta"s In this particular village, they are currently proposing a plan to upgrade their toilet facilities, which are currently mostly pit toilets. If you aren’t familiar with this term it’s essentially a hole dug in the ground & a breeding ground for dengue fever carrying mosquitos amongst a wealth of other diseases…and the smell under the hot Fijian sun is putrid. That’s just one of the projects underway, hopefully soon some longer term projects will emerge. Like I’ve said in a previous e-mail non-communicable diseases…especially diabetes…is really prevalent here. So, the nurses are trying to get in shape & live more active lifestyles in an extremely sedentary community. We’ll be starting women’s fitness classes soon, which is unheard of here in Fiji…I can’t wait to see all the middle aged women workin’ it during aerobics which is what they’ve decided we should do along with fitness yoga & kickboxing.

I’ve really become a part of the community here, I’ve even joined the women’s soccer team in town. No, I didn’t play soccer in America. Yes, I am absolutely terrible. But they insisted I join them, so for the sake of trying new things, deepening relationships with the other women on the team, and staying fit…here goes nothing. I’m also learning how to tie-die, sew, and weave mats from a women’s group that does handicrafts for income generation. We have a big “World women’s craft fair” in Suva in October, it will be pretty cool to see all of their handcrafted quilts, curtains, mats, etc. on display since they just started this form of income generation. I’m hoping by the time I leave in 2 years I will have completed my quilt (one that would take Alesi, one of the women in the group, just a couple of weeks to complete J ). I have so much fun with the women here. The older ladies are always trying to dress me in sarees, and tell me stories about their own daughters, many of whom have moved overseas to America, New Zealand, or Australia. The girls my age are fabulous—we have so much fun with dance parties, curry nights, and sand volleyball. It would be much harder for me to be here if it weren’t for the good local friends I’ve made.

I promise I’ll be taking my camera out of its case again soon, so look for some new photos of life in Fiji coming to an inbox near you.

That’s all from this end of the world…I miss you all…and I might be miles away, but I’m right there with you cheering for my two Chicago loves…the Cubs & da Bears!

August 20, 2008
Namaste!
A lot has happened since I last wrote you all. I have officially sworn in as a Peace Corps Volunteer, moved to my new site, set up my flat, and begun to make my way to as many houses as possible to drink kava, eat delicious curry, and talanoa (sit around telling stories). The town I’m living in is diverse with a good mix of both indigenous Fijians, and Indofijians. My Hindi language skill is slowly becoming conversational, and the roti I roll are becoming more and more round. I’ve had the strangest mix of emotions as I’ve been settling in. I’m ecstatic, nervous, confident, & unsure. The people of Fiji are so welcoming, it’s hard to not feel at home here…and yet I am definitely missing those of you who make home what it is in America.
Most weekdays I wake up to the sunrising over the river with mountains in the backdrop. I make myself some tea and sit on the front porch processing the previous day and taking in the beauty of it all. I put on one of my five knee length skirts & polo shirts & head to the health centre I’m attached to and drink tea with the nurses, dietician, and peer educator. Work here takes on a whole new meaning from what I’ve ever known it to be. We definitely move on island time…and when someone says they’ll do something today it will maybe be finished by next week…maybe. This isn’t to say that the people here are lazy, or unmotivated, they simply lack a sense of urgency—especially around work related issues. So when I say I drink tea at work…I mean, I drink tea for work…probably a couple hours. I then make my way out into the community talking to the old ladies at the market selling pumpkins, bananas, chile peppers, and curry, or the community leaders such as the principals of the schools or police officers sitting around talanoaing. Right now my prime responsibility is to begin to understand the community—how it works, who it’s made up of, what resources & assets it already has, and what it would like to be networked to, who goes where when, etc. This will help me later on in my service because I’ll be able to assess the community needs by actually knowing and talking with the community. After walking around I come back and have lunch, maybe play a game of volleyball with the nurses who are all trying to be a good example to the NCD pronc community by exercising regularly. After a long day of what we in Fiji call work, I head home and go for a run along the river. Occassionally my new 12 year old buddy Selina comes with me—she wants to run track this summer (it’s winter here right now…), so we do our ab work out & stretching & head out for the 5 kilometers ahead of us. Finally, I make my way to someone’s house for dinner. I’ve only cooked a few meals for myself in the last few weeks, because everyone is so inviting & I’m constantly being invited over for dinner. The people here are extremely communal and family oriented. They have a difficult time understanding how I can even function living on my own in a flat…so I’m well taken care of and adopted by several different families in town.
This past weekend I started my backyard garden…one would think this was an easy task, but my neighbors came out with some gardening tools and asked “are you from the city?...it looks like it…” They were well intentioned in this honest remark an they helped me dig up the grass that probably would have taken another few days for me to remove in less than an hour. I hope to have some beans, watermelon, cabbage & tomatoes along with oregano and basil sometime in the near future. I went to firewalking ceremonies at the Hindi temple just down the road from my home. All week the firewalkers have woken up before sunrise to cleanse themselves in the river, beat their huge drums, and offer sacrifices at the alter. They completed the week of fasting and prayer with a Saturday night ceremony complete with traditional costume, dancing, and music. At midnight they lit a huge pile of wood that would burn until 4pm the next day when all that is left are burning embers. At the Sunday ceremony they prepare themselves by again praying and offering sacrifices, piercing their bodies numerous times, and eventually walking across the bed of hot ashes. I’m still learning about all of the traditions & beliefs of the Hindi people (and if any of you have accurate info. on this practice let me know), so I won’t try to analyze the reasoning behind all of these traditions. I’m currently trying to take everything in and understand as best I can, the culture and traditions that are so deeply embedded into the history and stories of the people here. This weekend also marks the first time I’ve seen a beach like the ones we see in postcards. For those of you doubting that I was even writing you from the beautiful island of Fiji, it’s true there are wonderful beaches here. I traveled up the coral coast and while I haven’t done any snorkeling yet, I hope to do so with some volunteers near my site that know all about marine life.
So currently, I’m in the middle of a campaign that is going on in conjuction with Hibiscus, a festival in Suva. Along with local stakeholders in the field of adolescent reproductive health, I’m participating in youth utreach focused on HIV/AIDS awareness. The total number of reported cases in Fiji is 271. The estimate for the actual number is between 2000-3000. In a country with a small population, that’s a scary number of people who have the virus and don’t know. Because of the lack of education, the traditionally taboo nature of discussing sexual health, and culture that is so relaxed it doesn’t often visit a doctor until something has to be amputated or it becomes apparently life threatening, STIs—including HIV/AIDS have spread without people knowing they were even at risk. It’s really encouraging to see some action being taken and organization around getting the information disseminated into communities. I’m learning a lot from all of the local peer educators (those trained in adolescent reproductive health outreach within the ministry of health), as well as talking to people at the festival. It’s giving me a good idea of the urgency and necessity for this globally erupting pandemic to be addressed.
I’m learning a lot about myself, and my own perceptions about the world while being here. I often find myself reevaluating the way in which I’ve approached both global and local issues. I have definitely been in a period of healthy unrest as I reconstruct my worldview based on the values, beauty, and culture found here. I could not possibly give you all a concise or complete recognition of this restructuring at this point in my service…but when I figure it out I’ll let you know J
Hopefully many of you have seen the photos I posted onto the wonderful world of facebook…and if you haven’t let me know so I can send you the link to the albums. Take care & please keep me updated on life back at home. I love to hear all about it, especially for those of us who just graduated & are now getting “grown up jobs” and setting out on our own. Island life gives me plenty of time to download your e-mails to my laptop & read them like bedtime stories at night.

May you all find some time in your week to live like the islanders—breathing in deeply the fragrance of life,

Week 1:
Our first week in Fiji, my entirely quirky Peace Corps Team of 32 stayed in Bungalows at a boarding school. We had meetings all day, but played ultimate Frisbee on every break. We also watched a lot of rugby at all hours of the night since the Fiji team was playing a tournament in Europe. It was beginning to feel a lot like summer camp when all that could be heard at night were the echoes of guitars being played in the moonlight, young men making up stupid games that somehow become funny like “how many words can you make sound Hillbilly” led by our favorite southern volunteer Heath, and “uh-oh-uhoooh uh-oh-uhooooh uh-uh-uhooooh the right stuff” blaring from a bungalow nearby.
The honeymoon is over though, and we’ve been placed in different villages near Nasauri. I was one of the few placed in an Indo-Fijian settlement close to the city called Visama. This means I will most likely be placed in an urban Hindistani (a combination of Hindi & Fijian) speaking community. I’m staying with the Prakash family for the next 8 weeks, and they have lovingly given me the Hindi name “Swastika” which in their culture is a religious symbol that means “peace.” I attempted to persuade them to award me a different name, but Swastika I remain. They even drew me the sign and told me I would be able to brag about my name to friends at home because it comes with a symbol attached. Since I had only met them 2 hours before this, I did not inform them of the alternate meaning of this symbol, though I plan to do so sometime in the future when it will be humorous and not embarrassing to them. I live with a maatajii aur pitajii (mom & dad), two girls ages 16 and 17, and a 19 year old boy. They are a very nice family, and fortunately all have a great sense of humor since my cultural sensitivity and language pronunciation still need some work.
The settlement is full of friendly people who are always inviting me and the other 5 that live in the settlement in for tea and cookies. I have made it a rule to leave my house 30 minutes ahead of schedule in order to make time for people who may stop me on the way. I’ve already been invited to several weddings, and attended one last weekend. Fortunately, here in the settlement women don’t drink grog (some of you may know it as kava or yaqona) often, so I am mostly free from the narcotic-like mud water, which I consumed many bowls a night while in our training camp. This is not to say the men don’t down it here. In fact, another volunteer lives with a couple who run a night time Drive-up grog business. Just flash your brights, and they deliver the goods.
I am quickly becoming acclimated to the culture here. My hands and feet are covered in henna complements of my “Cousin” Sima, who lives next door; I eat curry for breakfast, lunch and dinner; and when someone tells me we will be picked up at 1:00, I bring a book and wait for them to arrive between 12:30 and 2:00. There are, of course, challenges due to the combination of culture shock and information overload. My Chicago accent makes it quite difficult to pronounce the subtle accents of Hindi, my saucy, independent spirit is still learning a quieter approach to life, and I have yet to love cold showers. I am finding it ironic and yet not surprising, that a country known for it’s beautiful get away resorts is a third world country with an abundance of poverty and inaccessibility to resources and education. I actually have yet to see the ocean, and for those of you who joked about me going on a tropical vacation for a couple years, trust me when I say there is more to the islands than pina coladas and cabana boys fanning you on beautiful white sand beaches. Being here for two years will be an adventure, and I am looking forward to each moment along the way.

Namaste.
Sarah

P.S. At night it gets to about 70* Fahrenheit here. The locals bundle up in fleece, wool socks, and knit hats. If this is winter, I think I will learn to love the cold showers when summer arrives.